Brian's Etiquette Guide

[jay]

Or, where worlds collide...

For the edification of readers, friends and passers-by:

I say "sir" and "ma'am" quite often in public conversation. Often to folks socially distant, like supermarket cashiers, ticket agents, or people I've just met.
I may avert my glance downward to avoid staring at something, like a revealing outfit or a strategic ketchup stain.
I often hold doors for people, especially those carrying things, and women in general.
Likewise with giving up subway seats.
I'm happy to be hospitable, because it's an icebreaker. I like to do nice things for my friends.
I bring friends drinks at parties, if I'm going by the drink table.
I don't generally make the first move toward people whom I find attractive, even crush-objects.

*None* of these behaviors means that I'm trying to sub to the recipient. For example, if I'm at a party, and I avert my glance, answer "sure, ma'am!" and I later bring you a drink, all it means is that I've just met you and your bra strap is showing... those people that pay attention to such things, be forewarned. Low-key and polite doesn't mean I don't prefer to be in charge of other things, in other contexts... and scarcely anyone will see that other side of me.

Comments

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks :-).
My default assumption, based on my own experiences, is to not expect mutual attraction to exist. Then unless there's clear interest or an overt invitation, my making a first move is likely to distract or annoy the other person... if mutual attraction can be established, then I'd be much more likely to flirt.