I've kissed 21 people, lifetime, and half of those are blood-relatives. Including simple pecks. So kissing is proportionately a big deal for me... with significant emotional content.
Really? I'm a bit surprised, given some of your social participation and level of activity. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with a similar background... although my lifetime totals also include "been kissed by".
And actually, recounting (and including two nonconsensual instances I'd rather not remember) puts me at 21. Eight relatives, five people (HS/college dates and others) through the time I married patgreene, and then eight more over the past five years :-). Not something that I do lightly, in any case...
Really? I'm a bit surprised, given some of your social participation and level of activity.
Well, there are a lot of people I'd be social with but would not voluntarily kiss. (I don't include "been kissed by" because involuntary stuff says nothing about my choices.)
My totals break down a little differently because my relatives don't kiss. Counting cheek-pecks, I have kissed only my mom and my sister.
Not something that I do lightly, in any case...
Same here. I mean heck, there are people I'd rather f*ck than kiss.
If I discount relatives (most of those kisses occurred when I was a small boy) and "been kissed by", I'd be down to 11 lifetime. OTOH, my sexual constraints are even more restrictive... I wouldn't f*ck anyone that I couldn't feel comfortable kissing, and my lifetime totals there can still be counted on one hand.
Eh. I don't count the ceremonial kiss-on-alternate-cheeks greeting found in parts of Europe as a kiss, functionally... only on the lips ;-). Otherwise I'd have to add a few more to the total... since I've worked with the French at Eurocontrol and individually at ESTEC in Noordvik. In my experience, with wandering Americans, they usually proffer a handshake automatically...
I was thinking the 'French thing' would be classified as a 'simple peck'. My mistake.
I don't think you're that subnormal here, actually. By your narrower definition I doubt I make it that far into double figures, and as for mroe intimate relations, I'm still countable on one hand.
So I don't think this is anything to worry about, so stop stressing about somehting that's just not that significant!
By the way, the whole French 'proffer handshake' thing is an interesting social game in itself. My understanding is that the French body language here is that the person who feels 'dominant' in a situation is the one to offer the handshake. I've felt tempted to play games with this with some particularly annoying French collaborators. You might also like to try it.
An interesting topic. Actually, Brian, I find 20 to be a fair number. I am very conservative about who I kiss too. Let me think...... lifetime total? uh...... I can think of 15....... and I don't kiss blood relatives that way. ;) I can relate to the way you feel about kissing. It is no casual thing.....but I realize a lot of folks DO approach it in a more 'freindly' manner than I do. Thus, the thread about me declining a kiss from a man I had just met... in another part of your journal. :)
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Date: 2003-09-06 09:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 11:25 am (UTC)And actually, recounting (and including two nonconsensual instances I'd rather not remember) puts me at 21. Eight relatives, five people (HS/college dates and others) through the time I married
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Date: 2003-09-06 01:39 pm (UTC)Well, there are a lot of people I'd be social with but would not voluntarily kiss. (I don't include "been kissed by" because involuntary stuff says nothing about my choices.)
My totals break down a little differently because my relatives don't kiss. Counting cheek-pecks, I have kissed only my mom and my sister.
Not something that I do lightly, in any case...
Same here. I mean heck, there are people I'd rather f*ck than kiss.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 06:04 pm (UTC)I don't think you're that subnormal here, actually. By your narrower definition I doubt I make it that far into double figures, and as for mroe intimate relations, I'm still countable on one hand.
So I don't think this is anything to worry about, so stop stressing about somehting that's just not that significant!
no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 12:44 pm (UTC)Actually, Brian, I find 20 to be a fair number.
I am very conservative about who I kiss too.
Let me think...... lifetime total?
uh......
I can think of 15.......
and I don't kiss blood relatives that way.
;)
I can relate to the way you feel about kissing.
It is no casual thing.....but I realize a lot of folks DO approach it
in a more 'freindly' manner than I do.
Thus, the thread about me declining a kiss from a man I had just met... in another part of your journal.
:)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 12:51 pm (UTC)Well, I don't kiss blood relatives *that* way, either! (grin) (images of elderly aunts...)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 12:55 pm (UTC)I don't give blood relatives 'pecks on the lips'.
My mom was a germ-o-phobe and taught us kids growing up
not to kiss anyone on the lips.
:)
So we're a family of cheek kissers......
;)