An apology...

Over the past three or four weeks, as this morning's surgery approached, my underlying stress and worry about Pat have grown... I'm kind of frightened about it, especially after her dad died after knee-replacement surgery, 5 years ago.

But I have felt that I had to be strong and calming and reassuring around her and the kids. So all of my pent-up fear and anxiety has been channeled elsewhere, over the past month. Largely into general snippiness and looking to pick fights... which hasn't been fun for those persons nearby. Two different sweeties have suffered in particular, as have a couple of others. This wasn't fair to them.

Regardless of today's outcome, I owe several people an apology for "kicking the cat" where they are concerned. I'm sorry.

Waiting

I'm still sitting here in the ambulatory surgery waiting room... having just finished a hand-holding call with geekchick (thanks! :-). Pat has been in OR#8 for 3-1/2 hours... I was expecting a post-operative debriefing from her surgeon around 1pm. I don't know why it is going longer.... but things happen. Maybe they were delayed getting started, or had some complications...

At 2:50pm David arrives home from school. I'm going to have to leave here in about an hour, one way or another. Until J arrives from Cloverdale to take over kid-watching....

While waiting, there was an announcement soliciting blood donors for a local drive. I hadn't donated since March, and had nothing else to do, and wanted to do *something* positive, so I donated. Albeit with dizziness afterward... they had to wheel out the "crash couch" for me and prop-up my legs. All because I hadn't expected to donate today, and hence hadn't forced fluids in advance. Lying there on a gurney, looking at the ceiling and wondering how Pat was doing, 50 yards away.

*stress* I hope that I hear something soon...

Actually, I just did. I'm reassured over the phone by one of her OR nurses (Steve) that she's OK, but that "it's more involved than we expected" and it will be another 2 hours, until 3:30-4pm. So I'm going to head home and try to clean my kitchen before J arrives with her kids... sigh. I asked if there were complications, but he refused to answer.

*fidget*

Okay...

Pat is out of surgery (well, almost) and her vitals are good. Her hysterectomy took over 4 hours, and required an unexpected abdominal incision (like a C-section) because of a mass of scar tissue (from Kevin's C-section, six years ago.
( Read more... )