An apology...
Sep. 10th, 2002 02:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Over the past three or four weeks, as this morning's surgery approached, my underlying stress and worry about Pat have grown... I'm kind of frightened about it, especially after her dad died after knee-replacement surgery, 5 years ago.
But I have felt that I had to be strong and calming and reassuring around her and the kids. So all of my pent-up fear and anxiety has been channeled elsewhere, over the past month. Largely into general snippiness and looking to pick fights... which hasn't been fun for those persons nearby. Two different sweeties have suffered in particular, as have a couple of others. This wasn't fair to them.
Regardless of today's outcome, I owe several people an apology for "kicking the cat" where they are concerned. I'm sorry.
But I have felt that I had to be strong and calming and reassuring around her and the kids. So all of my pent-up fear and anxiety has been channeled elsewhere, over the past month. Largely into general snippiness and looking to pick fights... which hasn't been fun for those persons nearby. Two different sweeties have suffered in particular, as have a couple of others. This wasn't fair to them.
Regardless of today's outcome, I owe several people an apology for "kicking the cat" where they are concerned. I'm sorry.
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Date: 2002-09-10 03:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-10 11:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-10 07:00 am (UTC)my best wishes go
with both of you
be well
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Date: 2002-09-10 08:38 am (UTC)On a separate note, this post of yours is but one of many that have all added up for me, Brian. I just wanted to say how impressed I am with your honesty and integrity. We live in a fairly enlightened community, with pretty high standards of behavior and communication most times. And it still takes a very "big" person to admit, publicly, that they've been unfair to someone. The more I've read of your LJ, the more I've read in Hope's about her dealings with you as a boss, the more interaction I've had with you directly--the more impressed I am, and pleased to call you an acquaintance-with-whom-I'm-becoming-friends.
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Date: 2002-09-15 01:10 am (UTC)appologys
Date: 2002-09-10 08:39 am (UTC)FEAR = False Evidense Appearing Real. You are a science guy so you look for evidence to support your theory, in this case there is none. So your mind creates what it thinks will happen based on pats family history, however there is not real evidence this will happen for pat at least at this moment. hang in there. If possible be in the present. And know you have folks around you to reach out to. Hugs and courage T
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Date: 2002-09-10 09:19 am (UTC)Give me a call later if you have a chance and let me know how things went, okay?
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Date: 2002-09-15 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-15 10:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-10 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-10 09:49 am (UTC)*big hug*
I'm thinking about y'all this morning. When you get a chance, please update LJ and let us know how things go.
I pray that the surgeons are smart, skilled, and at their best this morning, and I pray that Pat's body reacts to the changes with happiness and relief. I pray for you, too, as the caregiver, to have strength and patience and some extra energy for this difficult time.