A long night...

[jay]

I'm back from an exhausting 2.5 hour couples session tonight with patgreene.. .it was supposed to go 1:20.

I'm supposed to work on not caretaking, only looking inside my boundaries... on having fun, getting enough sleep, and asking people how they are feeling instead of extrapolating from their actions. Pat is supposed to work on giving me space to feel my emotions and not telling me what they are... and do her self-care.

If she's emotional and angry or crying, that feels threatening, and I'm then quiet and unresponsive. So as not to provide further provocation... in childhood, strong emotions nearby were a prelude to getting physically beaten. She often jumps in if I don't give a verbal answer... if she asks me, I stay silent, then she'll say "I think you are feeling [emotion]."

Time went quickly... I was on the spot for most of the time. The therapist does not like my assuming responsibility for managing others' emotions. And she was not pleased that I don't feel that I can say no... that I need to go to great lengths to try to satisfy any reasonable request by others. Much of our work is going to be on defining boundaries...

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

What impresses me is what a lot of work and insight are already going on, for you to be able to recognize and articulate these problematic habits and traits. I hope that your therapist and Pat are giving you credit for this.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hm. Not really... more like I'm chided for not-getting-it, or not being further along. Pat jumped on me for 15 minutes about not already having set up individual counselling for myself, outside of the couples sessions.