one step forward, one back

[jay]

I'm self-peeved, after yesterday... not because of work (got four proposal abstracts done and sent off) or home (Kevin's Little League, then two diffferent school Open House nights in sequence (saw Kevin's art exhibit and David's science fair project))... but I backslid in a social setting. Did not ask well, was awash in personal body-image issues, was timid and hesitant, shrank into a fetal position in a hot tub to avoid accidentally brushing against anyone (caretaking everyone there...). I don't know why I feel so... untouchable, or unworthy of affection at the moment. But I'm annoyed at myself -- the week had been going very well, otherwise. Must just try again.

Comments

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Lots of hugs. Sometimes change feels uncomfortable. small steps, and small time periods where you are more who you want to be and you will eventually be that person more of the time.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I need both practice, and some way to regain my self-confidence in social situations, once having lost it for some reason. Otherwise, I'm fine unless I hit a rough patch... after which, I'll tend to bit-flip, going into a negative internal spiral unless I can flip it back before it goes too far.