disengagement?

[jay]

To withdraw from some local communities and circles, or not... that question seems pressing, right now. It could be self-defeating. But better to walk away than to stand around on various peripheries, feeling excluded and unwanted. Whining and fuming is unattractive and internally unhealthy, in the longer term. I suppose that I have to assess the likelihood of future non-peripheral participation vs. the emotional risks of waiting...

Comments

Re: Yes

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I agree... I fully expect that I'd do that work, reach some kind of self-acceptance, and no one else would care a whit. Let alone approach. However, maybe I wouldn't care anymore...

(cough) speaking of LDRs...

Re: Yes

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

On self-acceptance: I think about my journey around adoption and reunion, and my search for my birth parents. I set a goal of either finding them or resolving my questions that made me want to search within a particular time line. The resolution happened. Several years later, I found them and met them. I wish you similar success in your journey.

And should I understand that 45 miles is an LDR while 129 is not?

Re: Yes

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks. You've struggled with much... I have less optimism, as there's no one for me to find.

45 miles is currently an LDR, functionally... 124 miles to Cloverdale is overtly an LDR. And while that person is connected to groups and people who are closer to me than 124 miles, she has not tried to integrate us. One of the reasons behind a past breakup there, actually. I don't do well if any partner of mine is connected in ways that don't welcome (or at least tolerate) me as well.