Over three hours...

[jay]

Staggering out of couples counselling... started a bit after 10pm, out at 1:20am. Not particularly productive, we rehashed old boundary issues, old OSO issues and then talked about the upcoming trip. Worked out mutual strategies to correct things between us on the road... we'll see how they work in practice.

But I was just rambling at the end, and so was patgreene... we wound up discussing child-discipline tactics at 12:30am. Useful, at some level, but it didn't have to happen *then*. And going past the one hour that insurance covers... there were better ways to spend $250, I think. Feh.

Home at 2am. I was wound up and couldn't sleep until nearly 4am. Pat crashed but needs more sleep than I do, so I got up and relieved her this morning and got the kids off to school.

One note, though... I need to feel like I'm worthy of having my needs met. Of asking without feeling like an imposition or burden, when I'm plainly not anyone's ongoing dependency. And that I deserve partners and friends who appreciate me as I am, without having to try to project carefully-crafted versions of myself to meet their perceived desires and needs.

Comments

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

And that I deserve partners and friends who appreciate me as I am, without having to try to project carefully-crafted versions of myself to meet their perceived desires and needs.

We do, you know. It's the bit where you put out carefuly crafterd versions that we don't appreciate.

Anyway, I hope you can get some rest tonight.

worth it

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

I don't know how the therapy session connects to your last paragraph, but my sense is that anything that helps get you to that point is worth the effort and the money.

thanks for taking some bold steps with me.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

And that I deserve partners and friends who appreciate me as I am, without having to try to project carefully-crafted versions of myself to meet their perceived desires and needs.

That's the hard part, speaking from experience. I tried to be perfect, make sure I met every need, every expectation, whether it was real or just my perceptions and assumptions. And I lost myself in the process.

What I finally realized was the person I had to take care of, I had to be true to, was myself, and I wasn't doing a very good job of that. And I finally realized I couldn't accept that someone else truly loved me until I loved myself.

Not sure if that helps any.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I wonder about that therapist of yours. From my vantage, I find myself speculating about mercenary motives for extending your sessions. I hope I'm wrong.

But more importantly. It sounds like you'd benefit from some solo sessions with someone.

[rfrench.livejournal.com]

I mentioned this once before - I find it hard to believe a professional therapist starts sessions at 10pm, and runs for nearly 3.5 hours until the wee hours of the morning! How can anyone productively talk about emotionally charged issues for that long and have anything productive come of it? For goodness sake, an hour is usually exhausting enough by itself.

And I second the notion of some solo sessions. Having done both couples counseling and solo counseling, I think they are both required at different times, and they complement each other.

I'm sure people on here, myself included, would be happy to make recommendations for some bay-area counselors, both solo and couples.

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Brian, you can get solo counseling at the YwCA on a sliding scale based on income. I could recomend some other agencys if your interested. Lots of hugs T