Outside the village...

[jay]

I'm frankly envious of parents with community support... for example, dawnd and akienm are able to find a series of sitters for Allegra so that they could go to a weekend workshop in LA. Without having to, say, fly in Dawn's mother from back East... it's great for them, and I think they'll add a lot to that workshop. But I know that I couldn't do the same thing, and that Pat and I are pretty much on our own as far as child-raising goes... no net, here. When crises have hit, my only option has been to fly in one or the other grandmothers for a while, and/or take vacation time and stay home as well.

Still, that's a natural consequence of not being a part of any particular community, other than sort of tolerated on the fringes... I have only myself to reproach, arguably, for not giving enough or conforming sufficiently.

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

I can't speak to the whole "community" thing, because frankly I don't expect anyone in a "community" to be there for me in a meaningful way. But I can certainly understand the feeling of having no support network. I would perhaps think my parents might be there for me, but they are 3000 miles away. (Plus my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that she raised one brood and she sure ain't going to be a free babysitter for someone else's. Gee Ma. Surprised I haven't given you that oh-so-wanted grandchild yet?)

Many things are a lot more scary when you know no one's going to pull your fat out of the fire but you. Retirement. Surgery. Kids. I don't have children, but I think I know what you mean about going it alone.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Yes... it's like cross-country flying and getting lost. ATC may help from a distance, but no one's going to save you except yourself. Likewise with engine failures...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Right. Although I'm a lot more confident in an aircraft than in all of life, of course. :-)

Sometimes, when people do get lots of meaningful help from a community, it puzzles me almost as much as it would if I saw a lost flyer suddenly obtain a helpful copilot in the middle of the flight.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Agreed... sort of a "that's nice, but where did it come from?" reaction.