Outside the village...
I'm frankly envious of parents with community support... for example, ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dawnd and akienm are able to find a series of sitters for Allegra so that they could go to a weekend workshop in LA. Without having to, say, fly in Dawn's mother from back East... it's great for them, and I think they'll add a lot to that workshop. But I know that I couldn't do the same thing, and that Pat and I are pretty much on our own as far as child-raising goes... no net, here. When crises have hit, my only option has been to fly in one or the other grandmothers for a while, and/or take vacation time and stay home as well.
Still, that's a natural consequence of not being a part of any particular community, other than sort of tolerated on the fringes... I have only myself to reproach, arguably, for not giving enough or conforming sufficiently.
dawnd and akienm are able to find a series of sitters for Allegra so that they could go to a weekend workshop in LA. Without having to, say, fly in Dawn's mother from back East... it's great for them, and I think they'll add a lot to that workshop. But I know that I couldn't do the same thing, and that Pat and I are pretty much on our own as far as child-raising goes... no net, here. When crises have hit, my only option has been to fly in one or the other grandmothers for a while, and/or take vacation time and stay home as well. Still, that's a natural consequence of not being a part of any particular community, other than sort of tolerated on the fringes... I have only myself to reproach, arguably, for not giving enough or conforming sufficiently.
Babysitters
My household has 4 children. Yes we make it places without our children. Often this means ONE of us stays home. We seldom go out as 3 adults and no children. We also have the added benifit that we've got housemates who are family who we can ask to watch our kids.
When I've put out needing babysitters a few times, only once did someone step forward and take the two children that needed to be watched. We often divide the kids when we go out.
Often I can find things for one or two of the children, but not all four. I'm home without transportation now, with both my partners working, and B who lives with us working full time. That means that weekday trips for all of us are pretty much not going to happen.
Brian, from everything I've read in your LJ and in the talking we've done, your not on the fringe of the community, unless you put yourself there. People want you and Pat to come to come to events. Maybe what you need to do is find events which you can bring your boys too.
Everyone I know with kids have problems finding babysitters.
Try seeing if you can divide your kids some for sleep overs at friends houses, just remember that next week you may be hosting the kids, your not alone.
Re: Babysitters
Fringe-wise... granted, we aren't invited to various events, but it has as much to do with not fitting in community social norms.