Outside the village...

[jay]

I'm frankly envious of parents with community support... for example, dawnd and akienm are able to find a series of sitters for Allegra so that they could go to a weekend workshop in LA. Without having to, say, fly in Dawn's mother from back East... it's great for them, and I think they'll add a lot to that workshop. But I know that I couldn't do the same thing, and that Pat and I are pretty much on our own as far as child-raising goes... no net, here. When crises have hit, my only option has been to fly in one or the other grandmothers for a while, and/or take vacation time and stay home as well.

Still, that's a natural consequence of not being a part of any particular community, other than sort of tolerated on the fringes... I have only myself to reproach, arguably, for not giving enough or conforming sufficiently.

Comments

[bdot.livejournal.com]

the fact that they have one child and you have three should be taken into consideration here! if they had three...particularily one with a special need, then maybe it wouldn't be so easy for them to find sitters!!!!

i don't think we (being myself and the rest of the greater poly community) consider you and pat on the "finges" of our community. do you? because if you do, then maybe you should consider working on that perception!!!!

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

I *think* though I could be wrong, that most of the sitters being used this particular weekend are people who are dating Dawn or Akien. Its a slightly different, more intimate form of community than what brian1789 and patgreene have been open to in the past. I seem to recall, however, that when Pat had surgery, Jay had sweeties come into town to sit for the kids.

(IOW, Jay, I know you *like* to feel like an outsider, but this example isn't holding up to my analysis)

[bdot.livejournal.com]

(IOW, Jay, I know you *like* to feel like an outsider, but this example isn't holding up to my analysis)

LOL... is that what it is? now i understand things a bit better!!!!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Um, no.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

No, no partners came to sit with the kids. Or friends. Only Pat's mother, for four weeks, and I handled all of the arrangements. But a couple of friends brought over meals while Pat was in the hospital, and Dalton came over once and kept Pat company. That was still more help then than Pat got from our church community, granted...

(remembers when Pat ruptured and bled all over the floor, or having to clean 8" deep incisions while watching kids... *shudder*)

And the evidence doesn't support your analysis, I think.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

my mistake...I somehow had thought that you'd had sweeties come in to do childcare.

you've obviously got access to much more evidence than I do.

[geekchick]

I thought N. had come in to help out for a while?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

No, not for kid-sitting or around Pat's surgery. But N. did spend a week here in the summer of 2003 helping me do kitchen renovation. :)

[who-is-she.livejournal.com]

well, I don't have kids, but this is the first thing that came to MY Mind too... that your situation is different.

I think it's realy good that your kids get so much time with their family, including having extended family care for them. Everything costs something. Even though you feel having more personal hands on care of your kids costs you jet setting trips to workshops in LA..... you know that your kids are truly well cared for. That is a very good thing.

Incidentally, I truly enjoyed having your kids here. :)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- they loved visiting there, both times. :)