sigh... a social trap

[jay]

I've been emotionally fragile, even occasionally prone to a few tears since last weekend... so perhaps going to a large social gathering wasn't such a good idea tonight. But James wanted to see A...

I found myself in the trap tonight whereby I feel like no one really likes me or cares that I'm there, so I'm too afraid of rejection to approach anyone, which gives others the impression that I want to be left alone when in reality I need a few hugs or a shoulder. Instead, others heed the apparent "stay-away" vibes and then I feel even more unliked and uninteresting. Rinse. lather, repeat. Sigh. These are my feelings, no one else is responsible for them, but it still makes for a difficult evening.

Comments

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

hmmmmm.....well, I *did* give you more than one hug. And your lap was occupied in the hot tub......I still say we need a hand signal or something when you start to feel that way so it doesn't have to be an obvious thing but you'll get more hugs from me and Les......*hugs*

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

The lap-occupation by tenacious_snail in the hot tub or later in the living room actually didn't help. She tends to draw eye contact and body language from a group towards herself, and I find myself feeling invisible or like her chair... hmm.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

and I'm feeling uber-snuggled and happy, contentedly basking in your love. Maybe we need to trade places sometime? I really had *nod* idea that what was intended as affection towards you would have the effect of deflecting what you needed from you. Sigh...and with the best of intentions, too.