Defining rites of passage

[jay]

Given a debate in the hallways at work today with hopeforyou, over someone's celebration this evening ... I just don't see how celebrating the onset of an icky, unpleasant bodily function that causes half the population to be cranky and require chocolate and paper products one out of every four weeks is a rite of passage, other than as an affliction. Might as well design a ritual to celebrate, say, acne as the door to adolescence.

In this culture, IMO the things which most clearly delineate children from adults are gaining independent mobility and finances. So I think that a first paid outside job and gaining a driver's license are the true rites of passage in the US, both usually happening around age 15-16.

Comments

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

Negative or not, it's a real and sometimes very powerful passage/change. If it were me I'd appreciate some recognition of what I was entering into (in my case Hell).

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(nods) I had been asking Jen why it wasn't more of a commiseration than a celebration...

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

If serious pain or PMS runs in families, maybe there could be some prediction about how bad it will or won't be for the young lady in question. Then the gathering could be a commiseration or a celebration as appropriate. O'course in my family the pain was denied -- "quitcher whining" -- which might well be where my desire for some recognition comes from.

My pain's been bad enough that I have said, and meant, that some cultures' exposing girlchildren at birth was *merciful*. It took me a long time to realize that I am unusual in that way. The very idea that most women don't have it that bad was a big eye-opener. I no longer feel sadness and sympathy when I hear of the birth of a girl.