Defining rites of passage

[jay]

Given a debate in the hallways at work today with hopeforyou, over someone's celebration this evening ... I just don't see how celebrating the onset of an icky, unpleasant bodily function that causes half the population to be cranky and require chocolate and paper products one out of every four weeks is a rite of passage, other than as an affliction. Might as well design a ritual to celebrate, say, acne as the door to adolescence.

In this culture, IMO the things which most clearly delineate children from adults are gaining independent mobility and finances. So I think that a first paid outside job and gaining a driver's license are the true rites of passage in the US, both usually happening around age 15-16.

Comments

[iluvdaphne.livejournal.com]

Maybe as a rite of passage but a private one say with mother and daughter? If I may be so bold to say. Sharing it with friends seems sort of weird to me..IMHO.

I am Nancy a new person who has friended you, who really liked your pictures from your journey last week :)

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

Sharing it with friends seems sort of weird to me..IMHO.

And yes my daughter told me this evening after the ritual how special it was to her that she was welcomed into the community of women, recognized by them as a growing person and having it made known to her through this ritual even more concretely that she would be supported by these women.

Perhaps weird to some but very affirming to others.

[iluvdaphne.livejournal.com]

I have always been thought of as a bit odd or weird I guess. In my day (I am getting old for sure, as I am 49 this year, but feel quite ancient lately) things were more private I guess. But I was raised by strict parents who hid or did not talk about everything :(

That is wonderful and very heartwarming to hear how special the ritual was to your daughter. You are indeed a special mom to be able to make it so for her and your friends too.

Your daughter is quite lucky to have you :) :)

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm lucky to have her. And her sisters.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

I think it's cool. It would have been awesome to be welcomed into a community of women. I'm curious: did you invite only women, and girls who had had their first period?

[bdot.livejournal.com]

yup... my daughter really wanted to attend.. she is older than abby, but hadn't started her period yet, so was not able to participate. but she understood...after a small round of tears and feeling left out....

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

Ah, I'm sorry about that. If you want, I'd be happy to host anything like this for her here at the house. I know you two aren't specifically Pagan and we wrote our ceremoney ourselves so if you'd like to give her something like, I'd be happy to provide the space here.

*gentle hugs*

[bdot.livejournal.com]

that's really sweet of you... i will talk with her and see if she would like something... it might be a while tho!!!!

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

Everything in its own time, eh? I plan on still being here!

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

Yes. We live in a very diversified community but don't really know many MTF or people who are not actually female who identify as such. I think if we had it would have been an interesting topic for discussion of inclusion.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

well, there were people there who don't buy into the gender binary, and who would prefer a label other than "woman"

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

I didn't intend to offend, and I apologize to anyone that I offended.

I was using the word woman to refer to people with specific body parts, who currently (or at some point in their lives) have menstrual cycles. Is there a prefered word for that?

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

I'm not offended, but I was trying to point out that there was an intention towards a big tent definition of "woman".

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Welcome, and I'm glad that you liked the pictures from the Arctic field work.