Defining rites of passage

[jay]

Given a debate in the hallways at work today with hopeforyou, over someone's celebration this evening ... I just don't see how celebrating the onset of an icky, unpleasant bodily function that causes half the population to be cranky and require chocolate and paper products one out of every four weeks is a rite of passage, other than as an affliction. Might as well design a ritual to celebrate, say, acne as the door to adolescence.

In this culture, IMO the things which most clearly delineate children from adults are gaining independent mobility and finances. So I think that a first paid outside job and gaining a driver's license are the true rites of passage in the US, both usually happening around age 15-16.

Comments

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

The beginning of her menstrual cycle is a concrete datapoint that affirms what a bunch of us have known for a while - A is moving from childhood to adolescence, on the path towards adulthood. The ceremony tonight was partly about helping her to feel that we notice and welcome her emotional maturations, and that we see her status in our community changing. It also gave her the message that she has a powerful community around her as she goes through these many changes - that we're all here for her, thinking of her, looking after her, and celebrating her.

It's also a way of helping her to celebrate her body. It's lovely when people can revel in the beauty of their physical changes. A is proud of hers.

As for periods being "an icky, unpleasant bodily function that causes half the population to be cranky and require chocolate and paper products one out of every four weeks" - well, that's one way of looking at it, but it's not the whole way. There's beauty in the menstrual cycle in the sense that it's what brings forth life. It's neat that A can appreciate that aspect of it - and ceremonies like this one are part of what will help her to appreciate it.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

That assumes that bodies are to be celebrated, rather than maintained...

And the community that was there for her, with all due respect, was half of the broader community. As long as "community" == "community of women" here, your words stand.

And the physical evidence of the cycle is that life *has not* been brought forth...

[coyote3502.livejournal.com]

Frankly, we are stuck with our bodies. I'd rather celebrate it than consider it to be a necessary evil to be tolerated, barely. This is a place where our culture has done *everyone* a grave disservice. How much mental illness could be avoided by having a culture that acknowledges and celebrates Physical Humanity, even sexuality, instead of demonizing it.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Maybe... but celebrating sexuality or carnality might very well induce its own illnesses or unpleasant side-effects, just as does the other approach.

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

Depending on how it's done....

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

That assumes that bodies are to be celebrated, rather than maintained...

Both are important, no?

And the community that was there for her, with all due respect, was half of the broader community.

True enough.

And the physical evidence of the cycle is that life *has not* been brought forth...

But A's getting her first period means that she is now *capable* of bringing forth life.