Defining rites of passage

[jay]

Given a debate in the hallways at work today with hopeforyou, over someone's celebration this evening ... I just don't see how celebrating the onset of an icky, unpleasant bodily function that causes half the population to be cranky and require chocolate and paper products one out of every four weeks is a rite of passage, other than as an affliction. Might as well design a ritual to celebrate, say, acne as the door to adolescence.

In this culture, IMO the things which most clearly delineate children from adults are gaining independent mobility and finances. So I think that a first paid outside job and gaining a driver's license are the true rites of passage in the US, both usually happening around age 15-16.

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

I really like the idea of making some positive acknowledgement of menarche. I also like the idea of already having the kind of supportive, egalitarian relationship between mother (or other older female guide) and daughter that it would not be difficult to figure out what kind of acknowledgement felt appropriate to the daughter. (I didn't have that myself, but our daughter did.)

Menarche isn't just a rite of passage and a marker on the gradual path to adulthood. And I can't figure out how to say what else it is without sounding like "you don't understand because you are a man", and I'm not inclined to be either that dismissive or that generous. Suffice it to say that I'm very glad that our daughter's father and her brother were gentle and respectful about her transition, acknowledging that it was a big deal for her and also significant to her mothers in ways that they could admire but not quite share.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Probably just as well that my kids are all boys... (wry grin).