Defining rites of passage

[jay]

Given a debate in the hallways at work today with hopeforyou, over someone's celebration this evening ... I just don't see how celebrating the onset of an icky, unpleasant bodily function that causes half the population to be cranky and require chocolate and paper products one out of every four weeks is a rite of passage, other than as an affliction. Might as well design a ritual to celebrate, say, acne as the door to adolescence.

In this culture, IMO the things which most clearly delineate children from adults are gaining independent mobility and finances. So I think that a first paid outside job and gaining a driver's license are the true rites of passage in the US, both usually happening around age 15-16.

Comments

[bdot.livejournal.com]

i attended the ritual.. i found it very nice and although i couldn't stay long due to my own personal issues right now, i think abby benefitted from the gathering of 30 women in her home to celebrate *her*.

times have changed.... no longer are "bodily functions" talked about in whispers and drs offices. i have listened to mv and her friends talking about it and they have asked me questions as well. i feel that this is a great improvement to the way i was raised. hell, i thought i was dying!

and "half the population" does not react the way you think they do... personally, i have no pain, no cramps, no bloating, no craving for chocolate or any other form of food, no fear of pregnancy, no mood changes, no PMS, and (yes, this is true) no need for "paper products". i *do* understand that you are making generalizations here... but frankly, i don't like to be "generalized"!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(nods) as others have indicated as well, the pain-and-inconvenience level seems to vary widely between individuals. It still seems a bit strange to celebrate the advent of even a mild form of menstruation, but IMO celebrating a young person's growth, however marked, is good.

I tend to be suspicious of same-gender-limited events, though, as a general rule.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Why the suspicion of same-gender-limited events?

I enjoy all-women events. Perhaps it's because I never had sisters. I like spending time in a group where I feel no sexual tension, and I like the "girly" stuff (chatting about clothes, makeup, men, etc).

Dancing in the women's circle at Orthodox Jewish events is amazing. It's a celebration of community and fun and joy. I've also been in all-women squares at a dance. The silliness quotient goes way high.

There may be a time when I have matured enough that I can ignore or control sexual tension. For right now, all-women groups have unique pleasures for me.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

one of the challenges I face in gender limited events is that I end up being more at one end of the spectrum of gender expression. In mixed groups, I feel "normal", while in women-only settings, I feel marginalized.

Some of that is that I *don't* do girly stuff, and the sexual attraction can go through the roof for me at an all-women event. (and I feel like I am not "supposed to" be having that feeling).

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Some of it comes from a reaction to my Southern upbringing... after dinner, the men would gather in the living room and talk about business and politics and the war (Vietnam) and "serious" topics, while the women were expected to gather in the kitchen and wash dishes and gossip. As a small child, I wandered back and forth, but when I reached a certain age I was invited to stay with the "serious" men's group (old boy network?). Which I thought was unfair to my female cousins. And propagated stereotypes...