good start, down finish

[jay]

Monday morning started off as usual, helping patgreene get the kids away to school. But since our car had to go in the shop, I borrowed tenacious_snail's... she came by along with cyan_blue (who had stayed over after the previous night's party ;). So I got early hugs from everyone, a lovely start to the day. Then off to work.

Lunchtime I met dawnd in San Mateo, after she and akienm had dropped off grynz at SFO airport. I had sushi with both of them, and enjoyed their narratives. Afterwards, I spent some one-on-one time with Dawn before heading back to work. And then picking up the car from the shop, finishing work, and listening to Pat shout after she poured boiling water over her left hand (she was trying to use a grease screen as a pasta strainer).

Afterward, things began to spiral, a bit... I was stressed from home, and late, and picked up Les to go to a HAI monthly support group. It was not a supportive experience... I didn't know many people there. There were 34 people, nearly record attendance but for the initial exercise I was the last one left standing, unable to find a partner. I was rescued by p3aches, who opened up her dyad. And I was happy to be invited in, if sheepish. Then later I was embarrassed to discover that my buddy from L4 was there, and I hadn't recognized her (she'd bleached and cut her hair, granted). And finally on the last exercise -- ironically, on gratitude -- my exercise partner R literally bolted and left the premises in mid-exercise. That felt... pretty rejecting, even if logically he had his own issues in play. So by the end of the evening, what had been a pretty uplifting day had crashed. HAI workshops take me a couple of hours to open up, and last for two days... in these brief meetings, I'm only just dropping my defenses by the time the event ends.

Comments

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Many sympathies on the HAI stuff being difficult. I know it takes a lot of courage to open up and be vulnerable there, and even when these kinds of mishaps occur by sheer coincidence, it can still be really hard nonetheless.

Hope Pat's hand is feeling better, too.

And the early morning hugs were indeed a lovely start to the day :-)

[spicy-turkey.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear your support group experience was sub-optimal. :-(
We couldn't make it this month - of course with 34 people there, the last thing that was needed was 2 more! But sorry we missed you - would have been very nice to see you there.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

That was the third time I'd been to the Peninsula Support Group, and I have found it a challenge to deal with the very crowded space and so many people who seem to know each other. I didn't recognize your L4 buddy, either-- and wouldn't have recognized another participant but for recognizing her boyfriend.

*hugs*

I think you did a really good job speaking up about your challenges, and maybe in a future support group, you could ask if anyone has ideas of how to get into "HAI space" quickly, rather than the usual "drive up to Harbin, unpack, and relax for several hours first". I am guessing that someone has a suggestion that will help you.

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

sorry to hear it was a challenging day after you left our place. Thanks for both lunch, and spending time with me after. I enjoyed our conversation.

BTW: There were a couple of times over the weekend where I was the last one left standing. And I'm still looking for partner/s to do coaching sessions with me before I leave the area. Fortunately, I'm not really seeing this as a comment on my self-worth, but I can see how easy it would be to have that happen. Try to just see this as the luck of the draw, or use it as an incentive to be more pro-active in finding a partner in the future. YOU can always choose THEM, you know. :^)

Best wishes to Pat on the rapid healing of her hand.

(hug) to you both.

[klrmn.livejournal.com]

i've given up on the support groups. granted, the penensula one is the only one i've tried. i'm unable to sheild well enough from the folks who are reeling from their first L1 experience to be able to get anything at all out of them.