feeling marginal, again

[jay]

Some visiting friends are in town... they are having a party tonight, to which Pat and I aren't invited, but seemingly most of my local friends (and both other local sweeties) are, and most of them are going. I feel left out and unwanted again, even though Pat and I had our own plans tonight anyway.... (slight pout).

Back to cutting open walls...

Comments

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I wasn't invited directly, btw. Yesterday another guest left a message for the hosts asking if they could bring me - and they still haven't heard back, so I might not be going after all.

Had the invite been issued to me directly, or even with a bit more advance notice, I'd have most definitely been asking if I could bring you along, and Pat as well. I know that doesn't ameliorate the not-having-been-invited-directly thing, but in any case please know that you come readily to mind for me when I think of who I might like to bring along to a party.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks for being willing to hang out with me... although you're an exception, seemingly.

[treacle-well.livejournal.com]

although you're an exception, seemingly.

Pshaw.

[attitude-boy.livejournal.com]

That seems like a healthy reaction: a slight pout and then move on with life. Define the person you wish to be. Do not let your perceptions of others' actions define you. :)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.... mostly, I look for others' reactions towards me to define me. A distorted mirror, granted, but others are generally easier on me than I am.

[attitude-boy.livejournal.com]

Um. Wow. Different strokes for different folks.

IMNHO, very few people (Two? Maybe three.) know me well enough for me to use their reactions towards me to define me. Most people are reacting to their image of me. I am still training myself to rely on my own definition of myself rather than how other people react to me. After all, sometimes the way people react to me has nothing at all to do with me. :)

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Shes not the only person interested in spending time with you.I adore spending time with you when I can. Love and Hugs T

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(hug) sorry that things are rough for you right now.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

I understand that you feel left out because you weren't invited, and I understand that emotional truth can be wildly different from the facts. But I hope you also realize that almost every post you write is either about a party you attended or about something you did with one of your several girlfriends.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I should talk about work more, then. Or the kids... I think it is that I tend to write about either what hurts or bothers me, or else some outside travel or outing -- assuming that things that are going well, or are quietly at home, don't deserve description.

[selki.livejournal.com]

It might be good to dwell a little on the positive stuff. Maybe if you practiced writing about it, you'd find interesting stuff to say. I like reading checking-in, these-things-are-good entries.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

Since I started dating you after they left town, I had no idea how friendly you might be with them. I know that invites/welcome/exclusion are something important to you, and I understand that. I'm grumpy and hurt, too, hearing about who was at a party last weekend that I wasn't invited to, and the out-of-town-ers that I would have liked to have seen.

*hugs*

thanks for your help this morning. I most definitely wish to include you, and I want you.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

So we can be equally grumpy, about different weekends (wry grin). And you are welcome regarding the carpentry help this morning, it gave me something useful to do for others.

[pusifoot.livejournal.com]

And I can definitely say that those others were a) very grateful that you came to their aid, and b) very glad to have you about. (And not just because you helped, but because you are you, and you make tenacious_snail smile. And you look cute cuddling on my couch.

[elgecko.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I've had about a week and a half of intermittently feeling that way, for a couple of reasons. It is supremely unpleasant. *hugs* I am glad to count you as a friend.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

And you've got the additional burdens of being a recent arrival locally, and hence not well-known and on invite lists yet. Plus the stress of moving and unpacking...

*hug*