Day at home

[jay]

Strep hasn't knocked me down -- no fever or other symptoms -- but I felt not-right this morning, enough that I stayed home from work to try to pre-empt the bug. A telecon including hopeforyou (who was also offsite at her place) went well. Later, bad news about the air traffic project I presented in DC last week... the local NASA management group that has been putting together a new program for FY05, and using us as its poster-child for marketing purposes, is now going to reduce our part of the budget to ten percent of the total while warping our purpose into being basically just computing infrastructure support for things in which they're more interested.

Otherwise, I fixed a door closer and a balky lock, rested, and took Kevin to the park and tried to throw toy boomerangs with him. We were laughable. That's perfectly OK. ;-)

This evening, I talked with patgreene, including a lively discussion regarding whether women actually ever wanted sex for its own sake, or just went along with it in order to gain things that they valued more (like cuddling, or attention, or building emotional ties). There was no verdict... maybe more in a future post.

Comments

[archway.livejournal.com]

There is also a myriad of other factors here, not the least of which is time with the selected partner. IMO, new lovers tend to have sex for sex. It is simply a "can't keep their hands off each other" sort of thing. Then it evolves into more for good or for ill. (BTW, aside from personal observation, I cannot support this...~S~)

The dynamics of long term lovers is much more interesting to me.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hmm... if I go to personal observation, even in the midst of new relationship energy (NRE) my own partners and I haven't gone through the "can't keep hands off" stage, so that's not familiar. I see other people reflecting something like that in their new relationships, but saw it as part of attempts to mutually please each other while building up a new relationship.

[archway.livejournal.com]

I have seen it as the "screaming thigh sweat" stage.~S~

There is that buzz/lightning/wow feeling. Harken back to steamed car windows and you have it. New lust...~merry sigh~

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I'll take your word for it... (smile)

[archway.livejournal.com]

~blush~...Oops. For some reason I feel like I crossed a line of politeness. Forgive?~S~

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(smile) No forgiveness necessary! You didn't cross any lines, I wasn't at all put off. My reference was to the context -- I haven't experienced the can't-keep-hands-off stage in my own relationships (a drawback of LDRs, I think, and keeping lust safely bottled-up in person). Hence I was trying to say "I don't really know what you mean, but I'll take your word on it," not rebuke you ;-).

Mad Weasel Sex

[gramina.livejournal.com]

[lack of the mad-weasel-sex stage is] a drawback of LDRs, I think, and keeping lust safely bottled-up in person.

I found LDRs stimulated the intensity of my desire when we were able to meet in person, myself. And my partner's clear avid desire for me was (and is!) flattering, and stimulates my reciprocal desire, creating a wonderful feedback loop.

On the other hand, I've never doubted for one half a second that my partner has good brakes -- I've never felt that I needed to protect myself from unwelcome touch. And I've never doubted that I'm wanted for far more than my body -- that my partners' desire for me is based in my whole self, body mind and spirit.

: ) Of course, it helps that I can sometimes get the same reaction to a really good theological point that I do to an inviting hip sway... : ) That tends to lend weight to the "I love you for your mind, too!" claim.

But -- given that basic level of respect, admiration, desire, and love -- a little loss of self-control can be really, really nice : )

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

stimulated the intensity of my desire when we were able to meet in person, myself

I don't disagree regarding effects -- but the need to re-connect, renegotiate, simply relax around an LDR sweetie pushes back any action (regardless of the intensity of my desire ;). And long pauses between meetings can take the edge from ardor.

a really good theological point
*swoon* I want to talk to you sometime, myself ;-)