Social contraction

[jay]

Today I passed on two social events that I would have otherwise quite enjoyed, because prominent members of the (for lack of a better term) dot_cattiness group were going to be there. And I'm conflict-averse, in my personal life. Last weekend, patgreene stayed home from another event because she didn't want to go alone, and I wasn't going because of the same personal-enemy-present considerations. The end result is that my social connections and opportunities are contracting, a not-unexpected outcome of last month.

At the same time, I feel terminally awkward and insufficiently cool to hang out with, say, the House Dreamland folks and their circles of friends... I was planning to go to rosefox's birthday gathering in SF tomorrow night, but now I'm not sure. And reading bikerscum's comments about his "network of affectionates," I feel both a bit envious and creeped-out at the same time... and wonder what any mutual friends could see in both me and someone like the other Bryan. Our values and actions and backgrounds are so conflicting, and so different.

Comments

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Umm. I think I may have stumbled into something. I hope it's not a complicated, unpleasant, and painful social mess.[checking bottom of shoe] I've seen this kind of thing before -- in nearly a decade online, that's not surprising.

I belong to dot_cattiness. I also feel quite friendly toward you and patgreene. I missed the flamewar, whatever it was.

I don't -- yet -- know most of the Bay Area LJ folk in 3D, though I met some at a party a few weeks ago. (And they were really nice.) All I have is your words. I'm not going to take sides, and I hope very much that nobody is going to try to assign me one.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about it, a number of my friends are members of dot_cattiness. TKIOK... There's a certain group that frequents that community that loves to pick fights, but not everyone there does so. There's no need to take sides.