Pardon my whinging, here... but if I had a social life, I doubt I'd be on LJ at 9:30pm on a summer Saturday night. Nothing to do otherwise, other than (as suggested by patgreene) fold laundry. Sigh.
Bold? No, and I'd much rather hear you even it it was too bold.
A do-my-thing approach is possibly the cleanest and simplest, long-term... but there have been times when I'm not certain that our relationship would have survived if we both hadn't been willing to compromise. And I have to put the kids' needs before mine. It becomes My Problem if by pursuing my desires or wants, I trigger emotional responses in others that then cause dissension or hurt between us. And which then leads the other person(s) to do things which are inimical to my perceived self-interest, or to some community interest. Thorny...
As far as going out alone... that's tied up in my own issues, my self-assessments that I'm not sufficiently interesting or attractive to justify my own presence at gatherings or events. If the proportion of existing friends dips below about 25-35% of the total, then I need a "safety net", someone that I know will accept me if I'm feeling left out or rejected. It helps if this is a designated person, like a date. In contrast, even if I'm restless and bored while on business trips, I won't go out alone -- not even to the hotel bar -- because I don't know anyone there.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-08-17 03:27 pm (UTC)A do-my-thing approach is possibly the cleanest and simplest, long-term... but there have been times when I'm not certain that our relationship would have survived if we both hadn't been willing to compromise. And I have to put the kids' needs before mine. It becomes My Problem if by pursuing my desires or wants, I trigger emotional responses in others that then cause dissension or hurt between us. And which then leads the other person(s) to do things which are inimical to my perceived self-interest, or to some community interest. Thorny...
As far as going out alone... that's tied up in my own issues, my self-assessments that I'm not sufficiently interesting or attractive to justify my own presence at gatherings or events. If the proportion of existing friends dips below about 25-35% of the total, then I need a "safety net", someone that I know will accept me if I'm feeling left out or rejected. It helps if this is a designated person, like a date. In contrast, even if I'm restless and bored while on business trips, I won't go out alone -- not even to the hotel bar -- because I don't know anyone there.