Re-entry forebodings

[jay]

I've been homesick at times... often I dearly miss the kids and Pat and ordinary, familiar things. Part of me is very ready to come home. But part of me is dreading it... this has been a nice little stasis, away from politics and news and relationship issues and financial and job stress. Just the mission, the science, the goals. Once I'm home, things may change or have changed for the worse... and I'm not sure how I fit in anywhere, anymore. Or with whom, individuals as well as groups. But I have no choice. Maybe things will be OK. Or at least tolerable...

Comments

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Actually, it scrapes for Pat while I'm gone, but often it looks like she's more capable -- more in charge of herself and the kids -- when I'm not around.

Not to be argumentative, but how would you know? You aren't here to assess the situation. How much of that might be wishful thinking: "Pat is more capable when I'm not here, so I don't have to feel guilty about being away"?

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, but what you said smacks to me of rationalization. I may be more "capable" in the sense that I get things done (and, actually, I'm not sure that that's true, necessarily, either), but I'm far less happy, far more stressed, and far more worn out when I'm on my own.