Struggling a bit

[jay]

Thanks for your collective support yesterday :-). I went home and crashed after dinner, sleeping 10 hours. Leaving the dishes undone, sigh. Two of three relationships have felt shaky over the past week, and I've been struggling to not obsess or lose focus altogether.

It doesn't help that I'm also dealing with weight issues -- over the past three trips, I've gained 11 lbs. Lack of exercise and too much travel have been prime culprits. But (body image) just looking at myself is depressing... my clothes are tight, and I'm now 23 lbs over my actuarial ideal weight. And (health) my blood pressure, which closely tracks my weight, is up to its highest level ever -- 140/95. I have a lot of work to do.

This morning... 7:30am and I've already had my first call from JL, and I'm busy working from home.

Comments

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

You know I'm not pulling my punches, here ... and you know it's because I know what you're going through, and I care about you, right?

I'm overcommitted at work...

I'm glad to see that in writing. You can't hide from stuff like that forever.

I can't break my promises...

It's hard. But it seems to me that, when I over-commit myself, I've already breached the trust of the people to whom I have committed. For a start, there's no way I can do my best job if everything is rushed. Then there are people to whom I've promised I will take good care of myself, and them, and I cannot do that when I'm over-committed. Anyone who cares about you, will not want to put that kind of pressure on you and your other loved ones. And you're a lot less use to your work if you're constantly working at 150+% effort and performing well below 100%.

It is not breaking promises to stand back from your life, admit that you are over-committed, and enter negotiations to re-structure your commitments until you only have 100% of your time full. Are there people in your team who could benefit from the challenge having tasks delegated to them? Are there people who are supposed to be your collaborators who are not pulling their weight, and need stretching? Are there pet projects which you need to look at with a critical eye, and down-grade in priority because they are taking resources from more important work?

Academics and researchers are the kind of people who, on their death-bed, may actually break the mould and say "I wish I had spent more time at work!!!". But you will probably acheive more in your career if you take care of yourself and your family, and are still happy, healthy and productive in your 80th year...

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

You know first-hand... and thanks.

Then there are people to whom I've promised I will take good care of myself

Ah... but there aren't any. I dodge those requests :-). I make work-related promises... or relationship promises... but avoid promising anything internal to just me. So I'm not violating anything by running myself down in order to meet other commitments.

enter negotiations to re-structure your commitments until you only have 100% of your time full

You're right. I need to negotiate, to delegate, to lower my workload. Maybe not all the way down to 100% (then I'd have periods at 70-80%) but to not much over nominal full-time.

Unfortunately, the two projects which have the least support are also the most fun...