If I'd kept things quiet and not written about it (I was blaming myself, I didn't expect others to feel bad about my failures...) then arguably it would have been less bother. No interruption of the group activity, and any internal discomfort on my part would have been hidden.
we all got to read about it on LJ the next day and feel crappy about it
But by my talking about it, thereby tripping a discussion, I've caused a total of more bother and effort than if I'd just asked for a backrub or a strawberry.
Moral: I should either learn to ask for things directly, or else be better at sucking it up and keeping any unmet-needs or frustration hidden if I don't ask (or ask indirectly).
As your friends, and thus as people who want you to be happy, I think that most of us would be unhappy to learn that you're hiding frustrations and unmet-needs rather then asking. To me, it seems dishonest. It adds to the fragility of the relationship. That's not happy..
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jay
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 10:30 pm (UTC)we all got to read about it on LJ the next day and feel crappy about it
But by my talking about it, thereby tripping a discussion, I've caused a total of more bother and effort than if I'd just asked for a backrub or a strawberry.
Moral: I should either learn to ask for things directly, or else be better at sucking it up and keeping any unmet-needs or frustration hidden if I don't ask (or ask indirectly).
no subject
Date: 2004-05-01 12:40 am (UTC)It might be the immediatly easier answer, but..