Cumulative over 20 years with family, friends and colleagues. But very little from current associates, granted. The bike example was from someone on my LJ list... a couple of people have not been able to give rides. That's the extent of it with this group, other than asking for more social inclusion at times.
I'm reading this as "when I ask, if I get a negative response, I assume I should never ask again."
For me, asking is just that- a request. Not a requirement. Sometimes, the answer is no. Sometimes, when I'm asked, the answer is no. I expect that- I expect my friends to take care of themselves first, or honor other commitments. Them saying no, especially on things like needing a ride, or fixing a bike, is ok.
I can see situations where an unsupported no, from certain people, to specifically critical requests could be a problem. But thise are going to be far, few between, and generally involve pre-negotiated relationships.
That makes sense. And most of my requests come about with either designated-role strangers (airline agents, say) or in relationships, and are as few as I can manage, historically. I have a problem adjusting to asking friends... no is always acceptable. Even expected, actually ;-).
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jay
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 11:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 12:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-27 12:21 am (UTC)For me, asking is just that- a request. Not a requirement. Sometimes, the answer is no. Sometimes, when I'm asked, the answer is no. I expect that- I expect my friends to take care of themselves first, or honor other commitments. Them saying no, especially on things like needing a ride, or fixing a bike, is ok.
I can see situations where an unsupported no, from certain people, to specifically critical requests could be a problem. But thise are going to be far, few between, and generally involve pre-negotiated relationships.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-01 06:45 am (UTC)