return to therapy

[jay]

After a one-month absence. A 2.5-hour session... <lj user = "patgreene> was just back from her trip and faded. Room for cautious optimism... we pretty much have figured out what's underlying the repeated upsets between Pat and I, and have a general agreement on a direction to proceed. It will require both Pat and I to look out for each other's interest as well as our own, and to reach consensus rather than just deciding things unilaterally. Otherwise... a bit to my surprise, I discovered that much of my crankiness and feelings of worthlessness and depression appear to be tied to the sexual abuse meme, and feelings raised back to the surface by my reply to my parents a couple of days ago. I've needed help over the past couple of days, but have been afraid to ask for it.

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

we pretty much have figured out what's underlying the repeated upsets between Pat and I, and have a general agreement on a direction to proceed. It will require both Pat and I to look out for each other's interest as well as our own, and to reach consensus rather than just deciding things unilaterally.

That's pretty important. Congratulations for getting there.

I discovered that much of my crankiness and feelings of worthlessness and depression appear to be tied to the sexual abuse meme, and feelings raised back to the surface by my reply to my parents a couple of days ago. I've needed help over the past couple of days, but have been afraid to ask for it.

I know a couple of other people who are still sort of "recovering" from that couple of days. I'll bet you have lots of company there.

sexual abuse meme fallout

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

When I told my mother about having been molested, I wrote her a letter which would arrive while I was at a conference full of supportive people. I took a wonderful walk in a grotto outside of Portland, with several friends, and then went to call my mom. I got the kind of response from my mother that I had hoped for and had asked for, but even so, it took lots and lots of support to feel comfortable and not jump out of my skin with anxiety.

I am glad that you could identify the sexual abuse meme and your mother's response as a source of your feelings. And hope that you're now able to ask for the help that you need (I'm guessing that offers of help will be forthcoming, and that just posting this will make you more aware that there are, in fact, people who would be happy to help if only they knew how.

And Mary is right about you having company there-- I am still sorta awash in the "being romantically involved with survivors of sexual violence" part and how and where that plays out-- in one case, more on the physical end of things, and the other (for various reasons) it seems to be more on the emotional end of things.