sigh... a social trap

[jay]

I've been emotionally fragile, even occasionally prone to a few tears since last weekend... so perhaps going to a large social gathering wasn't such a good idea tonight. But James wanted to see A...

I found myself in the trap tonight whereby I feel like no one really likes me or cares that I'm there, so I'm too afraid of rejection to approach anyone, which gives others the impression that I want to be left alone when in reality I need a few hugs or a shoulder. Instead, others heed the apparent "stay-away" vibes and then I feel even more unliked and uninteresting. Rinse. lather, repeat. Sigh. These are my feelings, no one else is responsible for them, but it still makes for a difficult evening.

Comments

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Here's a late hug.

Sometimes I wish that I had a reset button that would wipe out those feelings. Or even better, one that would replace them with, "people are hoping that you will come over and talk to them" feelings.

I was at a social event last night where I'd guess (using my secret super powers) that a large number of attendees were feeling like nobody cared if they were there. At one point, I walked over to a man who had been walking around aimlessly, and I said, "Are you looking for someone to talk to?" We started a conversation, and a woman walked over to talk to us. She had a great opening line for the man: "Are you from Washington, DC?"

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Do you have those feelings, yourself, to reset? Is the "people are hoping" feeling any more or less valid? It's not clear to me.

And what inspired you to change patterns and walk over to that guy?

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Yes, sometimes I get those feelings. If nobody sits next to me at shul, I think it's because nobody likes me. But I could have sat next to somebody myself!

The "people are hoping" is recognition that other people might be wanting attention and not doing anything to get it.

I walked over to that guy for three reasons:
1. I had just been asked for a date, so my confidence was pretty high.
2. I'm a member, so in a way, that made me a "host", and remembering that always gives me "ownership".
3. The guy looked like he would welcome some company.