Defining rites of passage

[jay]

Given a debate in the hallways at work today with hopeforyou, over someone's celebration this evening ... I just don't see how celebrating the onset of an icky, unpleasant bodily function that causes half the population to be cranky and require chocolate and paper products one out of every four weeks is a rite of passage, other than as an affliction. Might as well design a ritual to celebrate, say, acne as the door to adolescence.

In this culture, IMO the things which most clearly delineate children from adults are gaining independent mobility and finances. So I think that a first paid outside job and gaining a driver's license are the true rites of passage in the US, both usually happening around age 15-16.

Comments

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

I can probably say a lot more when I'm not on my way to said ritual, but I want to speak up for all the women who don't get grouchy, cranky, miserable, or in pain because of their menses. Nor do I find it messy, icky, or unpleasant. In fact, since onset, and without any fanfare on my family's part, I've found it empowering and life-affirming. It reminds me of the wonder that is my body, and one of its most amazing functions. I thought that at 14, and I still think it today. And that was without anyone telling me so, fwiw ;)

The power to create life is something that is, or can be, felt by any woman who is in touch with her body, and wants to feel that power. And of course, there are many alternatives to paper products ;)

((hugs)) and off with me!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Interesting data point, though it's hard to imagine all of that ooziness not being messy, at least. And I thought that most women (yourself excluded, granted) are/were afraid of getting pregnant during any given cycle... I suppose that choosing to not exercise that power is still affirming, in some way.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

I don't know any women who are afraid of getting pregnant, because we all know how to use birth control.

[bdot.livejournal.com]

well said!

[tshuma]

I'm mildly afraid of getting pregnant. Birth control is never 100% successful, and I'm as fallible as any other human.

It's practically got me waving incense and chanting over my pills these days. Nooooo babies until after graduation.

[karenbynight.livejournal.com]

Ditto. The word that best describes my menstrual cycle is "nifty". My body does this really interesting thing every month. It probably helps that on average, I'm more likely to get the happiness hormones than the crankiness ones during "PMS".

I also came to this conclusion despite a lack of any real positive messages about menstruation. My mom, being a nurse, was practical about it all; the rest of the universe, especially teenage boys when I was a teenage girl, were really rude. (why are women weird? because they can bleed for seven days without dying...). I'm all for being intentionally and constructively positive about menstruation, because the messages that get commonly passed around about it clearly miss the nifty things about it that many of us feel... as is evidenced by your assessment, Brian.

[tshuma]

Besides, look at all the things you can accomplish WHILE MENSTRUATING. ;)

Seriously, though, I don't get the happiness hormones from it, ever, but I have always felt a sense of mystery about this thing my body does. I can't imagine my own family doing anything ritualistic for me at the time of onset, but I think some acknowledgement would have been wonderful, something rather like the Mexican tradition of throwing a party for one's daughter when she's begun her menses.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(nods) as far as I can tell from advertising, related experiences, and such... all I see are warnings about "shark week" and ads for paper products and deodorant sprays, and LJ postings from women about how debilitatingly painful it all is this month...

[karenbynight.livejournal.com]

Myself, I detest the term "shark week". Not to mean any disrespect to those who use it, who clearly have some serious challenges in dealing with their menstural cycle. But all of the things it implies have nothing to do with me or my menstrual cycle.

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

me too. I don't say anything to folks, although I intend to say something to the young lady in question. I don't find it shark-like at all, and ... yeah, all of what you said :)