An off weekend

[jay]

In more ways than one... I feel down, isolated, bored, unloved, mostly useless. Like I have a talent for upsetting others, I've managed it with two different people today and it is only lunchtime. And things were suboptimal at W&S for me, with some tension and lots of processing with a couple of people. At least the brandy was appreciated.

These feelings aren't rational and will probably pass, but right now I'm not very good company. Which is only exacerbating the above.

[Update: I went ice skating this afternoon with Kevin, and feel much better. Endorphins and a good practice session helped. :) ]

Comments

[geekchick]

Sorry to hear things aren't going well this weekend. Hope it starts looking up for you soon. *hug*

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

Sorry you're feeling down, isolated, bored, unloved, and mostly useless... I've been there, and it's no fun. I don't know what the remedy is other than to deliberately do nice things for myself, and to ask people for some positive feedback.

Are there any plans for the weekend or next weekend you would *like* to make, outside of kitchen work?

[cortneyofeden.livejournal.com]

You are quite welcome to join us on Sunday for as much or little as you please. At noon we're meeting at Ardenwood to pick out pumpkins from the pumpkin patch. From there, heading to the Harvest Festival that's there for the rest of the afternoon. After, back to our place for a party, with food and warm drinks and good company. :)

[elgecko.livejournal.com]

*encouraging hug from far away* in the hope that it will help!

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks... talk to you Tuesday, I hope?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

*like* to make? That's a funny concept... I'm generally driven by what's available, or what I can do without causing too much angst at home. Preferences come into play only WRT things like whether to buy groceries Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- I'll check with patgreene about possibly coming by in the early evening. :)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the encouragement. (hug)

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Hugs, sweetie... sorry that it's being a hard weekend for you, and sorry that the troubles with others are making it hard to touch in on the feeling of being loved in general.

It's been on my mind to make plans with you for the upcoming weekends. I haven't yet for the coming weekend because I was waiting to hear if I was kidsitting for you and Pat if you went away then. And I only just learned that you were free on the following weekend, right before heading off on the road. Am very happy to make weekend plans with you and/or you+kids soon.

[geekchick]

Yep!

[juverna.livejournal.com]

*hugs!*

Remember, this too shall pass. It always does. Really.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(grin) and it has, mostly. Thanks...

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I had been expecting to be in Colorado for work (hopefully with geekchick) the weekend after next, but that was cancelled a couple of days ago.

We still have those Great America season passes, after all...

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Sorry things weren't going well. Glad to hear they've improved, though. Taking some alone time is a good plan under these circumstances. Relax, recharge, and come back better to interact with.

And yes, you get to consider what plans you would LIKE to make on occasion. YOU were the one who wanted sushi the other night, so we went there. You seemed to survive actually being the one to choose the direction for once. ;^)

(hug)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Give me a goal or objective -- take the next hill, etc -- and I have no trouble choosing the direction or formulating plans. Even being relentless and outspoken.

My problem has been in validating to myself that it is OK to set a goal based purely on what *I* want or need, rather than what serves best my tribe, organization, or greater ideas. But I've made progress... and the sushi was just what I wanted. :)

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

True... I'd be happy to go with you and the boys to Great America that weekend, if you like...

[simplykimberly.livejournal.com]

(hugs) I'm sorry to hear last night was suboptimal - the small time I saw you, you seemed well, but granted, that sort of thing may be non-obvious from the outside.

((hugs)) and thanks so much for your part in getting those WONDERFUL spices to me! They are wonderful!

[pure-agnostic.livejournal.com]

Jay, I've noticed you occasionally post about feeling down, unloved, life-on-wrong-track, etc... When I read that once or twice on somebody's journal, I'll think the person is having a bad day. When I see it once every few weeks or more often than that, I seriously worry. Are you okay?

[pure-agnostic.livejournal.com]

And a hug if that will help you feel better. *hug*

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hm. Sounds like I'd better keep quiet about those things, if it is proving disquieting... I might have one to three down days a month, typically.

[pure-agnostic.livejournal.com]

No need to keep quiet for my sake. You are not disturbing me. I was asking out of empathy for you. I was concerned that maybe you have depression. I too have a few down days per month - mostly when I neglect myself (e.g. - not enough sleep, not enough good food, overworked, people stress, etc...).

Actually, I'm glad you do let us know when you have down days. Some folks never communicate sad or angry feelings to others, leading lives of quiet melancholy right up to when they die. I much more worried about friends who don't say when they are feeling down.

Besides seeing you let others know about your down days, I also see many friends wanting to cheer you up. You are blessed to have so many kind and attentive friends. The opposite scares me - a person who feels depressed, requests help from others, and receives no support is somebody I would truly worry about.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

No need to keep it quiet... it's useful for those of us who love you to know where you're at emotionally. And these days you express the down moods in such a way that makes it clear that you know that they are temporary, and that's a good thing to hear.

I was actually surprised to read pure_agnostic's impression there, of your posting this kind of thing every few weeks - when I saw your post, one of my first thoughts was "Been a while since I heard you speak of feeling unloved..."

*hugs*

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Glad that you liked them... I'm very fond of Penzey's stuff. :)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I am very blessed with my friends, yes. :)