Feeling stuck in kind of a rut?

[jay]

I need to explore or find something different in my life... too much in the past couple of months (outside of work) has been quiet and dull. Lots of time on weekends spent cleaning and repairing and building things at home... granted, there's been a couple of years of deferred maintenance, but I miss going out and doing the occasional frivolous or recreational activity, or seeing friends. Or even doing activities with the kids... it has been three months of much work and little play. And being both the primary earner and able-bodied adult around the house leaves me often sliding into doing more caretaking than I'd wish.

The breaks, for me, have been travel... I'm really looking forward to going to Minneapolis in two weeks for the weekend for my 10th anniversary with Nancy. Or two weeks ago, when I went to DC a day early so I could spend all day Sunday with geekchick before my business Monday morning. Or going to Atlanta on business in December. I've held these out to myself as carrots and motivators... the problem with this is that it then sets my hopes and expectations really high, which can cause me to crash emotionally if everything isn't sparkly and fun when I visit for the weekend. Which in turn places an undue burden on my out-of-town partners and friends and family. They can't, alone, be my escape-valve or the spice in my life.

I'm really not much of a homebody, or happy retreating to a nest. I could be comfortable spending half my time on the road somewhere. And I don't watch DVDs, movies or TV, and rarely read anymore for pleasure, so there's not much to do at home *except* clean, cook or work on household projects. Except playing with the kids or cats? Any suggestions?

Comments

[weirdodragoncat.livejournal.com]

are you artistically inclined at all? you could find some sort of arsty thing that interests you and play around with it for a bit.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Do something with patgreene that she would like to do?

Study something?

Skating, geocaching, other kinds of social exercise?

Cook or bake with your kids?

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Maybe family hiking days? You could teach the boys about natural history -- geology, botany, birdwatching, observing animals and insects, ecology, even astronomy. This could become an activity shared with friends and their kids. California has unparalleled natural variety and beauty.

When you have to work on household stuff -- carpentry, maintenance, cooking, laundry -- that's another activity to teach the boys.

And you should have some adult time -- dinner or lunch with friends occasionally. A concert or play.

Maybe these aren't the kinds of things that would be pleasant for you. But they may spark ideas that would.

[stef-tm.livejournal.com]

Things I do (which you may or may not find interesting)
- hike
- go to the gym
- explore the downtowns on the Peninsula or the neigbhorhoods in SF
- volunteer
- various activities with my spiritual community
- go to lectures (e.g. City Arts and Lectures)
- go to concerts
- art gallery openings

(edited to add the last bullet)

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

They can't, alone, be my escape-valve or the spice in my life.

I'm sure that you didn't mean that line to sound hurtful to your at-home partners, but...

In any case, my perception is that you often seem to wait for others to initiate entertainments, rather than planning them yourself (with some exceptions, granted). Perhaps you could identify some of the things that might sound fun on a weekend and suggest 'em? You're not the only one around here who likes driving trips, geocaching, trying new things. Me, I've also been looking for new things to try, and have found soap-making classes, drum circles, book clubs on Meetup recently. There are lots of online activities listings (Meetup, Craigslist community pages, etc). I often see lots of things listed that the kids might like (hikes, bird-watching outings, wii saturdays at the library).

We can talk more later on it...

Self-Sourced Ideas

[araexists.livejournal.com]

I've been spending time lately coming up with ways to enjoy life on my own. For me, a little journaling helps point out what I'm in the mood to do. And Meetup is a great source for ideas, either to actually go to the meetup or to steal the idea to go alone or with someone else later.

As far as things being expensive, I was able to find stuff by googling Free Events, Cheap Theater, Cheap Concerts, etc., in my case for Los Angeles, but I'm sure the Bay Area has it too.

And if you're interested and available, maybe you could check out Lori Smullin's dance class on Monday nights :) It's a whole community of loving, creative people, and dance is a great way to energetically hold your own space while connecting with others.

Take care!

[satyrlovesong.livejournal.com]

Everyone who lives at your house (kids included) has a responsibility to help maintain it. You don't have to be the only caretaker, sweetness.

One thing that I've instituted is taking down a list of chores, then letting folks pick three that they really really hate. I cross post those, and *generally* find that someone is willing to do things that someone else hates. For example, I hate changing the cat litter, taking out the trash and vacuuming. On the other hand, I don't mind folding laundry, doing dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, dusting etc. H. hates folding laundry with a passion, and isn't much happier with dishes, but she doesn't mind doing cat litter, bathrooms, general straightening or making beds. I set up times for us all to clean together, and we negotiate breaks as needed.

Then we do something fun as a reward.