As an aside

[jay]

If getting laid was a priority of mine, I wouldn't dare to voice public opinions that I know might alienate some potential (or even current) partners...

If you're wondering what I'm talking about, it isn't worth your time...

Comments

Happiness is a choice

[raddy.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I can relate to getting laid not being a priority - it's way way further down my own list than people expect for a "dating male". As to "alienating" ...now that I don't grok. You can't alienate me (for instance) ...you might ignore me, try to blame me, or whatever. But my experience of alienation is part of my subjective experience and so it is something I have to own - it isn't something you do or don't do. "Happiness is a choice"? Yes, and so are the less enjoyable experiences, like alienation.

...it isn't worth your time

Um. Right. Now I'm guessing this reflects your view of yourself(?) Or the purpose was contrary ...you said it to attract attention(?) Only we readers can decide what's worth our time, but no doubt you know that already. This reader (me!) sometimes experiences empathy in your emoting, and sometimes perspective on myself ...so thank you for expressing.

Re: Happiness is a choice

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Now I'm guessing this reflects your view of yourself

Admittedly, the tone was a bit patronizing, sorry. It actually reflected my frustration over an ongoing thread over on polyamory which was consuming hours and hours of my time to no particular benefit. I didn't think it was worth explaining that context from zero, for those readers who had luckily missed that discussion, as my thesis didn't require it.

Granted, every person can consciously choose their reaction... I'm saying that (a) I'm not particularly tactful, (b) I say things without bothering to filter them to cast me in the best-possible light, and (c) sex hasn't been a personal priority in my life. Others have commented to the effect that sometimes I go too far, casting myself intentionally negatively and causing collateral hurts to those close to me. That may not lead to alienation, per se... some people have chosen otherwise, or I wouldn't have any friends or partners left.

Re: Happiness is a choice

[raddy.livejournal.com]

I haven't read anything in that community, and don't know you more than a bit. But from what little I've noticed, the casting myself intentionally negatively sounds about right. My suspicion is it is part of a larger pattern of beating yourself up, but then again I could just be projecting myself onto my perception of you.