an observation

[jay]

From a comment of mine in another journal... my own internal model still equates expression-of-interest = sexual-harrassment, not something I'd easily do. Presumed harmful to the other person until/unless proven otherwise. Consequently, in my life I've only set that model aside and made the first move once... the rest of the time, I've typically waited for the other person(s) to take that risk, or else mutually tip-toed laterally towards each other over the course of months.

Comments

[who-is-she.livejournal.com]

THere's also a couple other things, level of invasion of boundary, and repetition.. that factor in.

a friend of mine who worked in a foundry had one of the guys grab her crotch and say "I bet you would you bitch!" when she suggested she might like to be on the metal pouring team one day. A one time thing, but clearly invasive and clearly sexual harrassment. I know this guy had been 'rude' to her before.. but never in a sexual way, and never physically.

also, if you make a gesture, whatever, a hug, asking someone out, and the person says 'no'... and you keep doing it.. that is harrassment... because it is ignoring the person's stated boundary. It is requiring that person to say 'no' over and over again.

I agree with what you've said above. Thought I'd add these other nuances. (ahem)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Unwanted attention, vs. abusive boundary violations... like a somewhat-amusing small leashed monkey begging for peanuts, vs. the Dallas gorilla.