an observation

[jay]

From a comment of mine in another journal... my own internal model still equates expression-of-interest = sexual-harrassment, not something I'd easily do. Presumed harmful to the other person until/unless proven otherwise. Consequently, in my life I've only set that model aside and made the first move once... the rest of the time, I've typically waited for the other person(s) to take that risk, or else mutually tip-toed laterally towards each other over the course of months.

Comments

[kai-ta-loipa.livejournal.com]

I've typically waited for the other person(s) to take that risk

So if someone comes on to you not knowing if you'll like it, it's okay, but if you do the same, it's sexual harassment?

I would opt for risk, personally. The sting of rejection is overall less damaging than the pangs of uncertainty.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

A personal sting is fine, but inflicting something on others concerns me.

And I'm inconsistent, admittedly... if I come on to someone, I'm being a nuisance or an embarrassment to them, as I see it. In the converse case... (a) it almost never happens, and (b) the brief awkwardness doesn't bother me, and it could almost be flattering.