an observation

[jay]

From a comment of mine in another journal... my own internal model still equates expression-of-interest = sexual-harrassment, not something I'd easily do. Presumed harmful to the other person until/unless proven otherwise. Consequently, in my life I've only set that model aside and made the first move once... the rest of the time, I've typically waited for the other person(s) to take that risk, or else mutually tip-toed laterally towards each other over the course of months.

Comments

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Good point, there's not room for differentiation that way. And I'd really see unwanted advances as more of a nuisance or inconvenience for the recipient, not an assault or threat. Perhaps... "unwanted interest" = "sexual inconvenience", more of a little-brother to the criminal-level version?

And I've found that reliably, asking at all changes the relationship for the worse. Shucks, if I ask friends about *platonic* activities, they start acting wary and weird around me... ;-).