*crash*

[jay]

Well, my generally-good mood lately had to end sometime... in this case, I managed to have both my jealousy and exclusion buttons pressed in a 5-minute period at the beginning of a gathering, and I spent most of the rest of the evening away by myself sulking (and dozing) outdoors. Sigh. My issues, and not constructive. patgreene actually thought I was upset at her... not so.

The gathering itself was overcrowded, and I had to sit out in the hallway... feeling peripheral and unimportant and unwanted. Getting there sooner would have helped, but we had to feed our kids and it is a long drive...

Time to pack now, I have a 5am pickup....

Comments

[dancing-star.livejournal.com]

I am sure you where wanted and very important to some at the gathering. *hugs* I think a good thing to keep in mind is that how we feel and precieve certin things is a choice.

[archway.livejournal.com]

Suggestions.
If there is a party/gathering, don't just go to it with a bag full of expectations. Get involved with the dirty work. Help in the kitchen. Look quietly for moments where an extra set of hands would be good. Check with the hosts about a week early and find out what help they could use. (You don't live in the South so you might actually get a task or two.) Don't wait to be entertained or wooed.
If time is an issue, (which admittedly it often is) bring a gift and make sure there are at least 2 people you have a real connection with that will be there. It is even better if at least one of those is as shy as you might feel.
Go to smaller gatherings.
Stop trying to do hook-ups. We are grown. Singles bars or the current equivilent only really work in the movies.
Make a list of the social times you really felt good. Take note of all the things they had in common. If the event you are planning to attend has less than half of those, don't go.

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

well, there *is* the irony of getting your jealousy too triggered to participate in a jealousy discussion.

But (kiss), at least your sweeties got to participate in the discussion and do some good stuff with each other that will have a trickle-down benefit to you.

Should I take this as an advance request to save three seats together, so that Pat can have the back support she needs and you can have the included-and-wanted feeling and I can have some snuggling-with-beloved?

Choice

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

Brian, you are at choice 100% of the time.During this event what could you have choosen differently? Asking for your 100% seems like a better way to have gone. Hugs T

[enchantedwahine.livejournal.com]

Some times it seems the only way to have a place to sit at a HW gathering is to make a puppy pile on the floor. Im all for that. You are welcome to plop in my pile. If we work it we can all have sweeties in the pile.