easier, in some ways

[jay]

As the nominal "holiday" season moves into its more-intense mode... not just shopping and secular consumerism, but various spiritual or philosophical observances... in some ways, being on the road is easier than being at home, in that I'm not caught in-between the social and spiritual. Good friends are hosting pagan events... Yule or Solstice... today and next Tuesday. Many of my local SF-area friends are likely to be at one or both of these... if I were home they'd be unlikely to accompany me to a Christmas service, so I'd feel funny about joining their observances likewise as a non-participant guest. Even certain local parties with pagan overtones leave me feeling a bit uneasy at times, and I generally miss those that are tied to specific dates or observances. Meanwhile, even at our home church (St. Timothy's Episcopal, in Mountain View) I'm viewed there as an outsider, somewhat suspect because of my other relationships (and not allowed to serve in volunteer roles).

Last year, we stayed in CA and it felt a bit divisive or isolating around this time, for me. This year, that isn't an option... more a matter of deciding which local church to attend as visitors on Christmas. Easier, if still rather disconnected from friends and community.

Comments

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

I wrote,

but you're always welcome to come and be a part of the friendly atmosphere (which is mostly similar to W&S), and either stand silently or be out of the room when the brief religious parts happen.

You're welcome to participate in the rituals too, of course! But the others are options as well, if they are more comfortable options for you.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

My rule in other-faith ceremonies or services is to be respectful, stand and observe politely, and participate to the extent that (a) I'm invited, (b) think I know what I'm doing, and (c) the action doesn't directly conflict with my own beliefs. Ritual cleaning and tossing a coin and ringing a gong at a Japanese temple, or standing/bowing and covering my head at a Shabbat service are fine... but at a recent friends' party with a table of food that was designated as an offering to a given Roman deity, I instead quietly contributed soft drinks (which were kept elsewhere, in the kitchen).

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

Interestingly enough, we have some common ground here.

I am very happy to participate in certain rituals and work with or near certain entities. Actually, my degree of comfort and flexibility here is growing greater with time. However, I am not entirely sure where I feel about working with or for the god of abraham, and tend to keep a respectful distance from that entity.

However, there are certain entities I prefer to not work with or for or even near, and prefer to stay away from even as an observer/respectful non participant. Because of this, it is important for me to check with the people planning and organizing things to see whether things are a ritual or just a gathering and celebration. Knowing ahead of time lets me know what I can do and what I prefer to not do, and I take this seriously.

One of the biggest angry making things around ritual for me happened this year, in a setting where the person leading the class led several participants through a rather beautiful and physically demanding exercise. It was a delight to watch and to share the feeling of what they were doing, and I was happy to clap and stomp and be part of the rythym of what they were doing. The use of skilled drumming and a room full of people working with the drummers was very powerful, if a bit demanding on the senses. I definitely felt that the room was becoming unified in purpose, and I felt the intensity of that unity.

It was beautiful and it was useful to me in many ways. And then... at the close of the ritual, the person leading spoke out loud and made an offering of the time and the energy to... a particular entity.

I was angry. I would prefer to know when something is being dedicated to an entity, before stepping in. I might have chosen not to participate, or might have chosen to make a large mental reservation, or to participate in different ways, but I was angry to not have had the choice.

I agree with you - being able to choose how and where you worship so that it does not conflict with your beliefs and agreements with yourself and your god is important.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Interesting! Is this because it's a rule in your religion not to make offerings to other deities?