easier, in some ways

[jay]

As the nominal "holiday" season moves into its more-intense mode... not just shopping and secular consumerism, but various spiritual or philosophical observances... in some ways, being on the road is easier than being at home, in that I'm not caught in-between the social and spiritual. Good friends are hosting pagan events... Yule or Solstice... today and next Tuesday. Many of my local SF-area friends are likely to be at one or both of these... if I were home they'd be unlikely to accompany me to a Christmas service, so I'd feel funny about joining their observances likewise as a non-participant guest. Even certain local parties with pagan overtones leave me feeling a bit uneasy at times, and I generally miss those that are tied to specific dates or observances. Meanwhile, even at our home church (St. Timothy's Episcopal, in Mountain View) I'm viewed there as an outsider, somewhat suspect because of my other relationships (and not allowed to serve in volunteer roles).

Last year, we stayed in CA and it felt a bit divisive or isolating around this time, for me. This year, that isn't an option... more a matter of deciding which local church to attend as visitors on Christmas. Easier, if still rather disconnected from friends and community.

Comments

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

...and I am noticing that I have no Christmas-related plans, and that while there is lots of socializing with friends, I miss family. (so am fixing that by making plans for New Orleans and Houston with Mom, but more on that one later).

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I'd be curious to hear more about your feelings at pagan gatherings, and how you handle those.

I'm assuming that this comes from your being a practicing monotheist, but admit that I don't know the source of the feelings for you.

I suffer from perhaps an opposite problem - for a long time, the idea of setting foot into a catholic church was something I did not want to consider, and is still a big Somewhat Scary thing for me to do. It means missing out on a lot of very meaningful music and being far away from people who do some really good ritual, but it's not my place anymore and I have feelings of pain around that. There is something very special about a place that is made and built and maintained for ritual and for community. It's powerful.

I'm not sure I qualify as a pagan per se, I tend to be a person who prefers to avoid theologies attached to my mystical practices, because I am still running very very scared from dogmatism even years after walking away from catholicism. That said, I do feel a sadness that the established ritual spaces I'm aware of tend to not be pagan. I'd like to see more established ritual spaces for all different kinds of people.

Of course, one of my consolation prizes is that I've gotten a better awareness of being able to worship anywhere under the sun. But christians can do that too!

I find it interesting getting to know you, and to learn about how you think and believe. Thank you for being so open!

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

There are times when we go down to Louisville we end up going to my Bro and SIL's church, which is Catholic (Bro is still technically Lutheran, but SIL and the kids are Catholic). I feel uncomfortable in there, and in the last few years we haven't gone (and it hasn't been a problem), but it still feels weird.

I'd probably feel the same at a pagan event, except I'd be somewhat intrigued just because I haven't been to a pagan event before.

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

If I were staying in town id go to a christmas service with you.

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

I think if you were here and you were to invite us to attend a service with you and our schedule were open we'd seriously consider it. I don't think of myself specifically as "Pagan" but as "Christo-Pagan", incoroporating more honor of nature and old ways into my still quiet but deep devotion to the sacrifice and life-led-as-example that Jesus provided.

As it is, we are hoping to attend midnight Mass at a Catholic or Episcopal church this year.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

I like going to gatherings of other religious groups every now and then - they are interesting to me, and give new perspectives. And sometimes I actively enjoy them - I really get a lot out of going to Quaker Meeting and Buddhist Sitting, for example, even though I don't consider myself to be one of those groups.

If it were important to you that I came to one of your church's services, to better understand you, I'd do it. I went to a church service with a friend during Xmas of '99 because she was visiting and wanted to hear good High Mass music, and it was nice.

If you don't want to come to our households' various observances, we certainly won't push you to - but you're always welcome to come and be a part of the friendly atmosphere (which is mostly similar to W&S), and either stand silently or be out of the room when the brief religious parts happen. As it is, we have 3 different religious themes going in the household at the moment - the living room has my menorahs and dreidls up next to my housemates' Xmas and Solstice ornaments.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, even at our home church (St. Timothy's Episcopal, in Mountain View) I'm viewed there as an outsider, somewhat suspect because of my other relationships (and not allowed to serve in volunteer roles).

Why aren't you allowed to serve in volunteer roles? That seems odd.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry your church experience has become so distancing for you.

That said, I've enjoyed Catholic Christmas mass in the past, despite it not being my tradition at all.

Worship services

[suspira20.livejournal.com]

Many are obviously yearning for fulfillment that they are not finding in their current modes of worship. I see in the other posts that many have left Christianity based on traumatic experiences with the Catholic church and its rituals and politics. I am a practicing born-again Baptist, and I can not imagine attempting to navigate life's trials and tribulations as well as joys and celebrations without the strength and love of Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

I have a number of friends who find Catholicism rigid, unforgiving, and sometimes hypocritical. Others find comfort in the rules and ritual of the faith. Might I suggest visiting Christian churches of other denominations that may better meet your personal convictions and fill the void you may be experiencing in your life? Even different churches within the same denomination vary in worship services. The large church I now attend affords more opportunity for involvement, but lacks the intimacy of the smaller churches I have attended. It is well worth the effort to find a church home.