easier, in some ways

[jay]

As the nominal "holiday" season moves into its more-intense mode... not just shopping and secular consumerism, but various spiritual or philosophical observances... in some ways, being on the road is easier than being at home, in that I'm not caught in-between the social and spiritual. Good friends are hosting pagan events... Yule or Solstice... today and next Tuesday. Many of my local SF-area friends are likely to be at one or both of these... if I were home they'd be unlikely to accompany me to a Christmas service, so I'd feel funny about joining their observances likewise as a non-participant guest. Even certain local parties with pagan overtones leave me feeling a bit uneasy at times, and I generally miss those that are tied to specific dates or observances. Meanwhile, even at our home church (St. Timothy's Episcopal, in Mountain View) I'm viewed there as an outsider, somewhat suspect because of my other relationships (and not allowed to serve in volunteer roles).

Last year, we stayed in CA and it felt a bit divisive or isolating around this time, for me. This year, that isn't an option... more a matter of deciding which local church to attend as visitors on Christmas. Easier, if still rather disconnected from friends and community.

Comments

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

Just remember that how you view things doesn't always match how others view them. I invite friends to church all the time...they either take me up on it or they don't. I don't invite them to prosletyze but perhaps because they might feel comfortable there or I think it might resonate with them or because of the music.

I actually just had this conversation recently with a gentleman who both he and his wife are of a pagan bent but not quite. She's about to go through a ritual she'd like him to attend. He doesn't want to because he doesn't quite believe the same and doesn't want to seem like he's supporting "that faith path without reserve". I reminded him that he can say, I'd love to go and share your joy and support you in your path without converting himself.

There's never anything wrong with saying to a sweetie or friend, "I know you don't believe the way I do but I [think you'd really like the music this time] [the message that's going to be shared this time] [would really like your support/presence at this event]."

I think I've said it before...you only ever here no always in your own mind. If you don't ask, you don't allow the opportunity for a yes to happen and for your life to be that much more full. You have to be willing and ready to accept a "no" without rancor or too much disappointment but you certainly don't want to lose out on those possible yesses.