jay: (sunglasses)
[personal profile] jay
Brought up by a comment from here .

What about approaching pretty girls seems tantamount to facing polar bears ?

Pretty girls (so to speak) can rip me to shreds figuratively, polar bears literally.

Pretty girls size me up as a prospective dinner companion; polar bears as a prospective dinner. I pick up the check in either case.

After encountering a pretty girl or a polar bear, afterward I'm usually licking my wounds.

Both can turn up unexpectedly, when I'm not mentally or physically prepared. Vigilance helps avoid embarrassment or worse.

After a pretty-girl encounter, usually my confidence is shaken and I'm awash in self-doubt. After encountering polar bears, my confidence is boosted and I feel capable and strong -- assuming I've survived.

I've only seen three unclothed polar bears in the wild, about the same number as the total number of unclothed pretty girls I've seen up close ;-). Submerged doesn't count in either case.

I have more confidence in my ability to handle adeptly the former than the latter.

During a encounter, I'm generally trying to discourage the bear and scare it away. But an attractive woman is generally trying to discourage me and send me elsewhere, instead...

Date: 2003-01-31 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brian1789.livejournal.com
what's a "pretty girl"

The use of the diminutive there was to strengthen the contrast with the (presumably) huge, hulking bear... in this case, it means any female (of whatever age) that would hypothetically whet my interest...

Date: 2003-01-31 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purpletigron.livejournal.com
You mean, you're fine until you get interested?

Doesn't sound like it is anything objectively associated with the female, in that case :-)

Fear of rejection... I know that my self-image is too bound up in the ways that others respond to me, in such crisis situations. In other words, I need to remember that the answer to one particular question does not reveal or determine my whole worth.

Date: 2003-01-31 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brian1789.livejournal.com
you're fine until you get interested?

Exactly. Which itself may take seconds-to-months depending on the circumstances and chemistry ;-)

the answer to one particular question does not reveal or determine my whole worth

Hmmm... no, it doesn't. But it is a momentary evaluation, of sorts... it reveals a small piece of my worth, in the eyes of that given person at that instant. If I sum (actually, integrate) enough evaluation-function-pieces, I start to approach a worth-estimate. The integral over time resembles a kind of social desirability function which I can track...

Date: 2003-01-31 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mactavish.livejournal.com
Does your reaction to (expected) rejection by a typically pretty girl differ from rejection by a girl that society wouldn't typically call pretty, such as someone plain or fat?

Date: 2003-01-31 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brian1789.livejournal.com
My reaction to rejection, or anticipation thereof, is pretty much the same whatever the body type.

Date: 2003-01-31 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brian1789.livejournal.com
(which probably covers a variety of body types and ages 20-60, so it isn't terribly specific)

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