Which is cuddlier?

[jay]

Brought up by a comment from here .

What about approaching pretty girls seems tantamount to facing polar bears ?

Pretty girls (so to speak) can rip me to shreds figuratively, polar bears literally.

Pretty girls size me up as a prospective dinner companion; polar bears as a prospective dinner. I pick up the check in either case.

After encountering a pretty girl or a polar bear, afterward I'm usually licking my wounds.

Both can turn up unexpectedly, when I'm not mentally or physically prepared. Vigilance helps avoid embarrassment or worse.

After a pretty-girl encounter, usually my confidence is shaken and I'm awash in self-doubt. After encountering polar bears, my confidence is boosted and I feel capable and strong -- assuming I've survived.

I've only seen three unclothed polar bears in the wild, about the same number as the total number of unclothed pretty girls I've seen up close ;-). Submerged doesn't count in either case.

I have more confidence in my ability to handle adeptly the former than the latter.

During a encounter, I'm generally trying to discourage the bear and scare it away. But an attractive woman is generally trying to discourage me and send me elsewhere, instead...

Comments

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

I've only seen three unclothed polar bears in the wild, about the same number as the total number of unclothed pretty girls I've seen ;-).

Duuuudddde! Where have you been?!? I've seen more than 3 at any given pool party. You must not have been looking closely enough...

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

He claims that pool parties don't count because people are mostly underwater. I think it's really that he has trouble seeing in the dark without his glasses or contacts. : >

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Hmph. I wear my contacts to pool parties, so there :-P.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

At pool parties, all I can see up close are heads and shoulders bobbing above the water, or else people at a distance or wrapped... (grin)

[boubabe.livejournal.com]

Okay, so what's a "pretty girl" and how do you tell a naked "pretty girl" apart from a naked "polar bear?"

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

The naked polar bear doesn't worry about broken nails?

hmmm...

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

Had to comment because this is just too, too funny for me.

I only worry about broken nails if I'm barefoot. Bear foot?

But I also have some amusing new theories about your attraction to a particular pretty boi.

Re: hmmm...

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(groan).... bare foot, right. 18" long and covered in white fur...

Re: hmmm...

[tenacious-snail.livejournal.com]

I can manage the white fur, but if you think you could manage 18", even if I could *find* something that size at GV, you have GOT to be kidding. (maybe 18 cm?)

(feel free to delete this post if you think I've really crossed the line)

Re: hmmm...

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Oh. I didn't even consider *that* possible meaning...

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

what's a "pretty girl"

The use of the diminutive there was to strengthen the contrast with the (presumably) huge, hulking bear... in this case, it means any female (of whatever age) that would hypothetically whet my interest...

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

You mean, you're fine until you get interested?

Doesn't sound like it is anything objectively associated with the female, in that case :-)

Fear of rejection... I know that my self-image is too bound up in the ways that others respond to me, in such crisis situations. In other words, I need to remember that the answer to one particular question does not reveal or determine my whole worth.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

you're fine until you get interested?

Exactly. Which itself may take seconds-to-months depending on the circumstances and chemistry ;-)

the answer to one particular question does not reveal or determine my whole worth

Hmmm... no, it doesn't. But it is a momentary evaluation, of sorts... it reveals a small piece of my worth, in the eyes of that given person at that instant. If I sum (actually, integrate) enough evaluation-function-pieces, I start to approach a worth-estimate. The integral over time resembles a kind of social desirability function which I can track...

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Does your reaction to (expected) rejection by a typically pretty girl differ from rejection by a girl that society wouldn't typically call pretty, such as someone plain or fat?

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

My reaction to rejection, or anticipation thereof, is pretty much the same whatever the body type.

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

(which probably covers a variety of body types and ages 20-60, so it isn't terribly specific)

[luvlyrita.livejournal.com]

i'm just going to take this opportunity
to remind your audience that.....
brian is hopelessly adorable

awwwwwww........;)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

::blush::

That's very kind of you...

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

I've only seen three unclothed polar bears in the wild, about the same number as the total number of unclothed pretty girls I've seen up close ;-). Submerged doesn't count in either case.


So how many clothed polar bears have you seen in the wild? : >

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

None, although there's a stuffed 4-meter male wearing a sweater at the FirstAir ticket counter in Yellowknife...

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

During a encounter, I'm generally trying to discourage the bear and scare it away. But an attractive woman is generally trying to discourage me and send me elsewhere, instead...

I think this is the core of your problem, Brian. Your underlying assumption is that the woman doesn't want to be with you, pretty much at all, under any circumstances. I think that is a false assumption, and one that is negatively self-fulfilling. If you think that about her, you are going to be uncomfortable and awkward, which will send HER the message that she's making you uncomfortable and awkard, which is not a recipe for a continued smooth interaction.

Exercise for you: In an encounter with a "pretty girl" in the next week or so, preferably someone that you are only SLIGHTLY interested in (to lower the stakes for you), enter the conversation holding the thought in your mind "I am interesting and an attractive person; people--including pretty girls--WANT to talk to me." Periodically remind yourself of this throughout the conversation. See what happens. I'm betting that the encounter will be much more comfortable for both of you.

See, the fact of the matter is, Brian, you ARE an interesting and attractive person. The more I read about you in this context, the more interesting things I discover. On-line, your discomfort pretty much disappears, and the real you can shine through. I'd love to see you able to show that to the rest of the world, all the time. I think that would be fabulous for everyone, yourself most of all.